Re-living Your Childhood

I had a thought today as my girlfriends oldest son was talking about his activity later in the day. He and his brother were going to have "Lunch With Santa" today, and I got to thinking.
How come we, as adults, don't have any activities like that? No I don't want to have lunch with some fat mythical psudo-detity. However, how about lunch with a MAXIM cover girl, and why stop there. Come Easter, instead of celebrating the nocturnal fetishes of a fluffy long eared rodent, why not let me sit on the lap of the HOOTERS girl of my choice, or if it would be eaiser she could sit on my fac......... er uh lap.
And it doesn't just have to be only scantily clad bikini models, if the ladies want the men of CHIPPENDALES for their lunch, and lap sessions I okay with that, I am an equal opprotunity fantasy supplier. (you do know that all those guys are gay though).
Also let us delve into other areas, like those McDonalds Play Places. How much harder would it be to reinforce those babys with some L bar and some pre-stressed concrete? Make em thirty feet tall with beer stops inside of them, put in twenty foot brass poles, every guy wanted to be a fire fighter at one point in their lives, and who doesn't love a good pole dance at their Paly Place, as a matter of fact I think that is a prime example of a Play Place. And what about those huge bouncy things that they have at fairs and rental places, just make them 20 or so sq feet bigger, and you have a drunk Wall Street Exec's wet dream.
It is my opinion that if we had more thing like this, the depression and suicide rate would plummet. Can't you see it, I can. Some guy on his last leg goes into his shrinks office.......

BOB: Doc, I can't take it any more, my wife left me, my kids hate me, the dog died, I lost my job, and I think I have gonorrhea.
DR: Bob, have a beer, here's 50 bucks for some lap dances, and while your at it, go jump around in that giant inflatable tit in the back of the office.
2 hrs later
BOB: Doc, I haven't felt this wonderful in 20 years.
DR: What about your wife?
BOB: Fuck her, I'm drunk, I got to bounce, and had boobs in my face stripper boobs. I'M GOING TO DISNEY LAND!!!!!
Can't you see the sociological benefits this could have, we would change the world. We could get some of those rag wearing camel fuckers that like to blow themselves up, and maybe they could relax a bit, we would tone it down of course, no beer or boobs, granted that is the two things that make America great, well those and freedom of speech. Instead of beer and boobs, we'll go to hummus and ankles, whatever it takes. I'm a giver.
Well that's about it for me, but I will gladly take suggestions.
M~*